Okay, so this weekend sucked. Like really, really, really sucked.
This is worse than when Game of Thrones killed…you know what. I was about to list every single murder that pissed me off on Thrones. But, on the off chance that some of you are not fully caught up, I will contain my spoilers.
Even though the show has been out for 6 years, I will respect you potential readers in case you haven’t seen it. You’re welcome.
Okay, let me think of another scenario…
I haven’t been this depressed since my first time back at McDonald’s after they discontinue the McRib. I go through this scenario every year and it never gets better…
NO, I don’t actually eat the McRib every year, are you crazy? I filled my quota of trying it one time in my lifetime and I am satisfied with that. Yes, I know this wasn’t the best analogy but I was left scrambling after I scrapped the Thrones one! And I did that out of respect for you guys…
Part of me didn’t even want to write a recap for that hell hole of a series. But, I’m committed to the blog game, so I need to just power through. The great ones always power through.
Derek Jeter? Michael Jordan? Joey Chestnut? Air Bud? Ronald McDonald? All at the top of their field. And all of them never gave up, even in the worst situations. Believe me, they thought about it sometimes. But they fought through the adversity and came out the victor…Johnny Pinstripes does the same thing.
I didn’t choose the blog life, the blog life chose me.
(In reality, I did choose to write blogs, but shhh, don’t ruin my moment.)
Okay, in all seriousness, I don’t want this to be exactly like my usual game recaps. These 3 games in Tampa were a disaster, so I think it would just be better to just run through extremely fast.
Game 1: We couldn’t mount any offense. CC had a pretty solid game, but the Rays pitching kept us in check. Our only run was a RBI single by Judge.
Game 2: Once again our bats were dead. Sonny gave up 3 runs in the first two innings, but then managed to settle down. Didn’t matter though, since we got shutout for only the second time this year
Game 3: The worst game of the 3. Twice we clawed our way back, thanks to a homer by Miggy, and RBI doubles from Didi and Giancarlo, followed by a solo shot by Giancarlo. 6-6 tie, which should have been broken by a Clint Frazier homer. Oh wait, the fucking stadium prevented that from happening (more on that later). Gary pulled his groin and Chasen “the dumbest first name ever” Shreve gives up a walk off.
LOL. You can tell which game bothered me the most
Now, let me run through a few other ranting topics.
First off, Tropicana Field is an actual shithole. I never liked it before, but this weekend brought me to a much stronger level of hate for this piece of garbage.
My fellow Talkin’ Yanks colleague, Max Martin, wrote an entire piece about this dire wasteland of a baseball stadium. I’m not going to get into as many details, but I just want to cover some general points.
A HOMERUN GETS BLOCKED BY A FUCKING SPEAKER.
That shot by Clint looked gone. It was gone. We cannot officially confirm it, but fuck it. It was gone. It was the perfect storyline for our boy, Red Thunder.
“Traveling back and forth between New York and Scranton, Clint Frazier hits a go-ahead home run to give the Yankees the lead and, eventually, the win! The Yankees losing streak stops at 2 games.”
Wouldn’t that have been great? Yes, yes it would have.
But it wasn’t meant to be…because, Clint’s ball hit off a goddamn speaker at the top of the Trop’s dome.
Instead of being ruled a home run, instead of being ruled a ground rule double, any ball hit off something like a stupid fucking speaker, is considered “in play”.
Soo the Rays shortstop, Adeiny Hechavarria, clearly knows the rules of his horrible old stadium. He calmly found the ball in the air, saw it hit the speaker, and made the catch as it came back down.
And the stupid rule calls that an out. AN OUT. How is that an out?!
I was so shocked at what transpired. I was literally just staring at my TV with my mouth wide open. I do not think I moved for a full 3 minutes.
The last time I had a similar situation was after I watched the Red Wedding episode of Thrones. I literally did not move for about 5 minutes after that episode ended.
Yes, I’m going back to a Thrones analogy but don’t worry. Like I said earlier, for any of you who haven’t seen it yet (and if you haven’t, you’re fucking up), I will not give spoilers! You’re welcome…again.
I still cannot believe that it was called an out. That ball would have been a no-doubt home run in any other ballpark.
Then, we would have brought Chapman into the game and we, probably, would have gotten the win. Instead, we were forced to deal with the Butterfly effect.
In the 10th, Gary pulled his groin while trying to beat out a grounder. He is now on the DL….fantastic.
We weren’t able to score any runs and, trying to hold onto Chapman for a possible save situation, Boone decided to put in Chasen fucking Shreve.
I think most of us had a feeling of what was going to happen before the inning even started. And Chasen wasted no time in proving to us just how much he sucks.
It’s honestly pretty comical. One pitch – boom, walk off home run.
Holy shit, Chasen. You are the worst. I literally hate you more than Tyler Clippard, and that is something I never thought I would utter.
But, like I said, it honestly is pretty hilarious. All it took was one pitch to expose how bad this guy is. It was basically a real life version of any cheesy 80s/90s baseball movie.
You know what I mean? Any time they showed a scene with an at-bat, they would always have the batter swing and rake one on the first pitch. I’m thinking of movies like Rookie of the Year and Little Big League. Maybe Major League too.
But they would never waste any screen time on pitches other than a big hit. I mean, are you crazy? That’s boring to watch!
That was basically Chasen last night. He was the dumbass villain in a corny 80s baseball movie, while the Rays are the plucky underdogs who win the game on the first pitch of the at-bat.
That is usually not a likely scenario. Usually, a batter leading off the 13th inning will take a couple pitches and feel out the new reliever.
But, not in this Shreve movie scenario. He’s just a horrible pitcher who does not deserve to wear a Yankees uniform. I hope he is off our team…ASAP
Okay, I think that about does it. We lost 3 in a row for the first time this year. We also were swept for the first time this year.
This is the farthest we’ve gone without losing three in a row since 1954. That’s pretty fucking impressive.
Some other happier takeaways: Giancarlo is RAKING. The Terminator is absolutely mashing.
He was 5 for 5 yesterday and he looks to be finally getting into a groove. Other than that, our bullpen is on FIRE. Well, besides Shreve.
Other than that loser Chasen, our bullpen has been virtually unhittable. Check this stat out:
This is a very telling stat. And it really shows how bad that dumbass lefty has been.
AND, as I currently write this, he still hasn’t been DFA’d. How has he not been cut from this team?! I don’t get it.
I am praying that this will happen soon.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed my unorthodox recap.
Trust me, I really didn’t want to write this. I am just as pissed off as you guys about these last 3 games.
But I have a responsibility to the blog game, so I had to do it. Seriously, if you guys don’t want to read and relive this nightmare of a weekend, I totally understand.
Make sure to check back in after we finally win some games in this Philly series! (hopefully)
We start a 3 game set in Philadelphia tonight! Let’s start it off with a much-needed win!
Also be prepared for a lot of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia gifs (one of my favorite shows).
LET’S GET A WIN
LET’S GO YANKS
Follow me on Twitter @JohnFerraro_