Tigers Doubleheader: Good win, So-So loss. On to Toronto

Yesterday began, what is sure to be, a seemingly endless bunch of makeup baseball games. All these rained out games are getting ready to rear their ugly heads…in the form of shitty doubleheaders like yesterday.

Fresh off the two Orioles rainouts, we got to make a nice doubleheader pit stop in Detroit, on the way to Toronto – god damnit. Our team must be exhausted.

Look MLB, I know you’re threatened by how amazing this Yankees team is. But it is pretty apparent that you are trying to sabotage us, in every way imaginable. I almost, somewhat, respect the lengths you are going to. It is a valiant effort, but this team shall get through it. Because we are awesome.

Okay, okay, no I do not think that Major League Baseball is trying to sabotage our season. I’m not that crazy of a conspiracy theorist…


I do believe Mother Nature is for sure sabotaging us. That theory makes a lot more sense. But, again, we shall fight through these obstacles because that is the Yankee Way.

So, on the way to Drake and The Weeknd’s hometown, we took a detour to the hometown of Marshall Mathers. I cannot blame them – Eminem is infinitely better than Aubrey Graham (Drake), despite what all you damn millennials might say.


(Yes, I’m a millennial too, but shhh)

Sorry Em, we beat the shit out of your hometown Tigers…at least in Game 1.

Game 1 was fun! Game 2 was ehhhh. Let’s recap!

Luis Severino is a wizard. A magician. A superstar. And a goddamn ACE


Cross out Harry and throw in Sevy.

8 IP, 4 hits, 1 ER, 10 STRIKEOUTS. He is so so so so soooo good. It really is incredible to watch.

The man is more money than Ben Franklin – and he’s on the hundo bill!

But seriously, Sevy is unreal. It has gotten to the point where we all just expect to get a win when he is on the bump. Not only do we expect a win, but we expect him to go 7 or 8 innings and either pitch a shut out, or give up 1 run.

We’re getting spoiled watching this guy pitch every 5 days. And I know I mention the Cy Young Award pretty often, but Sevy is coming for that ish.

He was a finalist for it last year and now he smells blood – call him a Great White. He’ll definitely have some tough competition down the stretch, but he’s so dialed in. I’m fully confident he can win it.

He is currently #1 in wins, right ahead of Kluber, and he is 3rd in ERA behind Verlander and Kluber.

9-1 with a 2.20 ERA. Amazing. I cannot wait to watch this guy dominate for the rest of this season. I smell a 20 win season coming, baby!

Let’s talk offense! We got on the board with the unreal phenom, himself, GLEYBER!

Solo shot in the 3rd to tie the game up at 1 apiece. I literally have no more words or superlatives to describe this kid…his 10th homer of the year and he’s batting .317.

How the hell are you doing this, Gleyber? Did you sacrifice a lamb to the gods or something? Did you make a deal with the Devil? TELL US YOUR SECRET! It makes no sense!! But keep on doing it, whatever it is your doing (maybe it’s just natural talent, but I’ll keep searching for another answer…)

In the 4th inning, we blew this game wide open – the floodgates opened BIG TIME.

Picture one of those Black Friday videos where a bunch of crazed customers engage in a stampede through a Macy’s or a Best Buy…That is what our bats did to the Tigers in the 4th.

Greg “He’s Back!” Bird got it going with a solo shot! He’s still adjusting to life back in the bigs, but his presence in the lineup is always a welcome sight. He isn’t ‘fully locked in Greg Bird’ yet. But that guy is coming #justwaitonit

After a pair of singles by Giancarlo The Terminator and Didi the Knight (that sounds like an awesome action movie), Miggy and Clint hit them home! With a pair of singles of their own!

It was basically a revolving door of singles that turned into runs – love it.


Also pretty cool having the two young guys, in Miggy and Clint, drive in the established veterans, in Giancarlo and Didi. Teamwork at its finest.

Then, we got the BIG ONE. Who is this guy and what have you done with the old Austin Romine? Because the old Austin Romine did not 3-run homers 421 FEET.

Not to mention, this impostor is a power-hitting monster who is batting .373 in a backup role. He also has an 11-game hitting streak  – because Austin is the fucking man.

Going back to what I said about Gleyber…I definitely suspect some foul play going on with my boy Austin. And I mean that as a good thing!

Austin, I’m all about you sacrificing a goat or lamb if it equals a 28th championship! ALL FOR IT!

All jokes aside, it’s clear that this guy really worked in the off-season to improve his hitting. And it is showing off, big time.

Best backup catcher in baseball. No question.

My only worry is that he is going to get TOO GOOD. And then some team might try and steal him away from us, by tempting him with a boat load of cash.

Don’t do it, Austin!! You’re our guy! Hopefully we never arrive at that, but let’s just kick back, relax, and enjoy this new Austin.

Oh, I almost forgot! In the vein of Pedro “Who’s your Daddy?!,” Austin Romine is the Detroit Tigers’ daddy. It started with this:


Now. we’ve got this:



The rest of this game was pretty uneventful. We basically took our foot off the gas and just coasted till the end – nice little cruise control.

After Sevy left the game 7-2 (gave up an unearned run in addition to his ER), Holder gave up 2 runs. Worked out perfectly though, because it set up a save situation! BRING IN CHAPPIE!

All he needed was one out, so pretty light work for the Chap Man. Get it? Like Chapman, but trying to create a new nickname. We’ll see if it catches on.

One strikeout later we had a 7-4 win and Chapman’s 14th save of the year.

Game 1 of the Doubleheader. CHECK.

Game 2:

Okay, this game was not nearly as fun as Game 1. Not very mad about the loss, though. It’s clear that this team is tired; they have been traveling a lot. Hard to blame them for being a little cold after a big victory earlier in the day.

Good news is that Germán had an improved start. Yes, he gave up 4 ER, but I’m honestly surprised he didn’t get pulled earlier. One of his runs was a sac fly and I’m not going to count that RBI double in the 7th.

Sooo, by that logic, he only gave up 2 earned runs. Okay, it’s not actually fair to cut out those 2 runs. But the bottom line is that Domingo did alright. He’s not the long-term answer this year, but here’s hoping he will take this game experience and improve upon it.

We only scored 2 runs this game, with the first one coming off a Gardy triple. I’m a sucker for a good old Gardy Party triple. It’s looking very unlikely that the longest-tenured Yankee will be back on our team in 2019.

But Brett Gardner is a true Yankee. Through and through. Okay, sorry for getting a little sentimental there. I have a soft spot for that angry little speedster with his shaved head.

Before wrapping this piece up, let’s discuss the big story from this game. Giancarlo and Mike Fiers.

In the 3rd inning, Fiers drilled Giancarlo on the upper arm and our man was HEATED. Absolutely livid.

While I have seen the play numerous times, until the announcers discussed it, I did not realize that Fiers was the guy who nailed him with that fastball in the face all those years ago. When the announcers brought it up, I understood why Our Terminator got so heated.

For a few moments there, it looked like we were going to get Yankees v. Tigers Round 2. Bring in Romine!

Now, do we think Fiers hit him on purpose? Probably not, but he was definitely throwing a little too far inside there.

But if did. The BALLS on Fiers.

major league

Hey, Mike. I do not think it is in your best interest to piss off a guy who is 6 foot 6, 245 pounds.

Do I blame Giancarlo for getting really pissed off? Hell no. Maybe I’m biased, but I don’t give a fuck.

If I got hit by the same guy who ended my season early, and potentially threatened my career, I’d be pissed too. Even if it wasn’t necessarily intentional.

Don’t forget, Giancarlo wears that modified helmet to protect his face from another incident like that one. It is evident he is still dealing with some very bad memories from that fateful day. I would to.

Sorry to stand up on a soapbox there, but I felt like voicing my opinion a little.


Anyways, the best part about all of this was Stanton’s next time up. In his subsequent at-bat against Fiers, Giancarlo The Terminator absolutely MASHED a moonshot 456 FUCKING FEET.


GIANCARLOOOOO. What a machine.

He wanted that homer so badly – really wanted to stick it to Mike Fiers. Fuck you, Fiers.

Other than that, our bats were dead quiet. Oh, well.

WAIT. I just want to say that it was awesome that we celebrated Jackie Robinson Day This game last night, against the Tigers, was supposed to played on April 15th, the real Jackie Robinson Day.

Since this was a makeup game, I thought it was amazing that we were able to honor Jackie by wearing his #42, even though this game was played in June. Very cool.

So we split the doubleheader, but it is not a big deal. On to the next one.

Tonight we start a quick, 2-game series against the Blue Jays. SORREY, Toronto!

CC is on the bump tonight, let’s go!


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