Hey guys, how are ya? Hope you all had a great Memorial Day Weekend!
Funny story – around Thursday or Friday I started seeing hashtags with “MDW” and I had no idea what the hell was going on. “What was this peculiar arrangement of letters?”, I thought to myself…
-Is there a new way to say Call of Duty: Modern Warfare?
-Did former Rookie of the Year and current NBA scrub Michael-Carter Williams change his second name to Damian? Or Dante? Or Derek?
-Is the state of Maryland officially absorbing Washington, DC to form the state of Maryland-Washington?
I know what you’re thinking: Wow, Johnny. These are all fantastic possibilities.
Trust me guys, I know! You don’t have to tell me twice – which is why I was quite flabbergasted when I learned it stood for “Memorial Day Weekend.”
Now I am no rookie to the Twittersphere…
So you can imagine my confusion when I discovered there was a slang term I had not heard before. But alas, “MDW” had been created, and I was not consulted. Oh, and there I go saying alas again…
I’m also not the biggest fan of this title “MDW,” overall. But, to stay on par with 2018, I threw it in this blog’s title – sue me.
NOW! Without further ado, let’s get into some Yankees Baseball. Time for one of my good old fashioned weekend recaps.
Apologies for that long rant, but I felt it was quite necessary
FRIDAY: Game 1 vs Angels
Call up Alexander Hamilton, because we’ve got a duel, baby. A nice little pitchers duel! Nothing more exciting than a 2-1 slugfest. That’s what I always say.
All jokes aside though, this was a great win for our guys. Sevy was in classic Sevy form, giving up only 1 run in his start. His only earned run was a blast from Mike “Not Catfish But A” Trout…can’t really get mad at that one.
Trout is a goddamn monster. I respect his skills, but he’s also an Eagles fan. So that severely weakens his likability, in my eyes.
For a while now, it seems like every day has been Gleyber Torres Day. Well, I have good news, Glibber fans! Friday night was no exception to the “Greatness of Glibber.” Oooh I like that title – mark that one down, folks.
In the 2nd, Gleyber did not want to show off too much. He just wanted to knock in a quick little run, without intimidating too many Angels players with his greatness. I respect that Gleyber, that was very big of you.
So, the kid got us on the board with a nice little infield single – nothing special, but doing his job. Even Bill Belichick would be proud.
Next inning, after a Justin Upton single, the Angels baserunner (he shall remain nameless so as to prevent further embarrassment for the upcoming events) tried to tie things up…Aaron “Rocket Arm” Judge was like nahhhh.
Aaron threw an absolute laser to Gary and nabbed their baserunner at the plate. Okay, okay it was Kole Calhoun – you idiot, Kole! Also, your parents were clearly trying to be all fancy, by naming you Kole with a K, instead of a C. The Calhouns clearly are known to try too hard…
With their naming abilities and testing Aaron fuckin’ Judge!
Oh yeah, there was also this little nugget of information. I’m not a big statcast guy, but this is still insane.
And the Big J journos were loving Judge postgame…but okay, back to the game!
So far, I’ve been all over the place with this recap. Jumping back and forth in time, this is basically Pulp Fiction. Here’s a quick chronological recap so far…Gleyber infield single, Judge throws out Calhoun, Trout home run: 1-1 game.
So we headed into the 7th all tied up. Memba how I said it was another Gleyber Torres Day? Cue GLIBBER TIME!
Gleyber breaks out his chainsaw and breaks the 1-1 tie with a solo shot! As I say each and every day, THE KID IS UNREAL. He also became the youngest player in American League history to hit dingers in four. straight. games. Holy shit.
This kid breaks more records than Joey Chestnut – shout out the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest..I am considering heading out to Coney Island and watching in person this 4th of July!
But Gleyber, you are incredible. It’s tough to even get shocked anymore, watching him bat. He’s shattered everyone’s expectations in an instant.
Boonie pulled a Joe Maddon and called on Chappie for a 4-out save. And similar to his brief tenure with the Cubbies, Chapman took care of business. He defeated that coward Ohtani, then retired the Halos 1-2-3 in the 9th…
Boom. 2-1 dub.
SATURDAY: Game 2 vs Angels
Greg Bird is back!
This game started off really fuckin’ fun and then turned NOT FUN really fuckin’ quick. Soo, let’s just focus on the fun parts and then quickly gloss over the rest – sound good?
Gardy and Judge started off our half of the 1st with BACK TO BACK BOMBS. Judge’s, in particular, was an absolute moonshot – no surprise there.
Look at these two guys!
And Sonny Gray pitching means we get to see the best backup catcher in baseball? And what does Austin “Row Row Your Boat” Romine do?
A 2 RUN SHOT OF COURSE!! ROMINEEE
You are the man, my friend. This guy keeps getting criticized and all he has done this season is mash baseballs, over and over and over again.
As of right now, Romine is batting .353 with 3 HRs, 18 hits, and 15 RBIs.
Best backup catcher in MLB by a mile. I’m not even going to check the stats of the other backups…why waste my time? We all know the answer is AUSTIN ROMINE. And here is another classic Jomboy-Romine reaction.
After 2 innings up 4-1, this game looked like a pretty easy victory. I wasn’t lighting my metaphorical cigar yet, but I was feeling very confident. And then…it all went to shit.
And it just makes me want to punch Sonny Gray in the face more and more.
He walked in a run and gave up a sac fly in the 3rd. THEN, he gives up a 2 run homer to Mike Salmon, er I mean Trout. Jeez, Sonny…
To add insult to injury, he gets yanked by Boone after hitting Upton, right after the Trout home run. Final stat line of 3.2 IP, 7 hits, 5 ER.
5.98 ERA on the year now.
When Sonny looks good (like last start), he looks great. But when he looks bad, he sucks so much and it is the worst. Something needs to be done if he keeps this shit up.
Holder came in and kept the Angels at bay. We were down 5-4 and, I thought, still had a chance to get the win.
However, Kahnle and Shreve took care of those dreams REAL QUICK. They gave up a whopping total of 7 more runs…and we were incapable of mounting any form of offense
11-4 loss. I think we need to seriously start considering making a change with Sonny.
SUNDAY: Game 3 vs Angels
And facing off against Ohtani, no less. I’ve got to admit, it was pretty damn cool to see these two Japanese superstars face off. It would have been even more awesome if Ohtani wasn’t too scared to pitch, but that is an argument for another day.
Believe me, we were all very happy with Richards! I say that sarcastically, of course, because holy shit, that guy is so annoying.
He took forever between pitches. FOREVER. I had ample time to reconsider all my past life decisions, in between Richards’ pitches.
We also scored 3 runs in a very bizarre way – off only 1 hit in that inning. Hicksy got a RBI walk, Bird was hit by a pitch to score another, and Miggy Andújar grounded into a fielder’s choice.
Anddd, that was the end of our scoring for the day. Talk about a high-powered offense, huh? To be honest, though, it is kind of refreshing to get a win, without our offense beating the shit out of opposing pitchers.
That was all Tanaka needed, because he was LOCKED IN. Give yourself a round of applause, Masa!
Final Stat Line: 6 IP, 3 hits, 1 ER, 3 walks, 8 K’s
GREAT START TANAKA! Similar to Sonny fucking Gray, Masa can be streaky at times. However, I definitely feel more confident with him on the bump, as opposed to Sonny. Let’s hope he builds on this start with another great performance against Baltimore
The back-end of our bullpen, in ideal fashion, made short work of the squad from Anaheim. D-Rob, Betances, and Chappie each pitched a inning of shut-out ball, with David being the only guy to give up a hit.
We also got to see Giancarlo “The Clumsy Terminator” Stanton perform a half-showing off, half-stupid catch.
Apologies for me filming my laptop. I do it for the fans, just know
MONDAY: Game 1 vs Astros.
Ugh, the Astros. I have a feeling we’re going to face off against them in the playoffs, again. We need to win this year. Fuck their cheating pitchers…
However, I will say that the Astros’ executives making that Seinfeld appearance, way back when, was fantastic.
So, I was originally planning to write this weekend recap solely on the Angels’ series. But, with a 1 PM start yesterday, coupled with being extremely hungover yesterday morning, I decided this would be a 4 game, 2 series mash-up. Only because I love you guys. You’re so spoiled.
Unfortunately, I wish the game was a little more exciting to report on. I’ll admit, my expectations weren’t too high when I saw it was Germán vs Verlander. Fuck you, Verlander. Who cares if you have. a supermodel for a wife? YOU’RE GOING BALD
HA. Got him. Just kidding…
I’d trade my hair for a super model, any day of the week. Even on a Monday.
So, the goddman Astros jumped out to a 3-0 lead, real quick. And against Justin “Tom Brady’s clone” Verlander, we were incapable of offense…fantastic.
Domingo honestly wasn’t that bad, but throwing him in there against Verlander is a tough assignment.
Few bright points? AJ Cole and Tommy K both looked very solid. This was a welcome sight for Tommy, because he was pretty damn bad on Saturday.
Other bright spot? GREG BIRD! FIRST HOMER OF THE YEAR. THE BIRD IS THE WORD
Getting it out of the way in only his third game back, there ya go, Gregory! Let’s all hope for a healthy Greg, the rest of the way, with a shit ton of moonshot home runs.
Soo, we lost 5-1. It could’ve been worse..
Tonight we’ve got CC “The Big Guy” Sabathia on the bump, after a loss. Time for you to shine, big guy! LET’S GO CC
And he’s facing off against that cheating scumbag, Charlie Morton. Now, I know there is no proof (yet), that the Astros are doctoring baseballs…but this start to Morton’s season is the sketchiest situation of them all.
Anyways, let’s hope we can light him up tonight. Now is perfect time to start unleashing on this pitching staff. We got this…LET’S DO IT
LET’S GO YANKS!
Follow me on Twitter @JohnFerraro_
P.S. Hope you all enjoy this nice, long recap. If you’re at work, sneak a nice read at lunch. Or at your desk..either or.
If you’re in school, tell your teachers/professors that you are reading a fascinating piece by a talented young author, Mr. John Pinstripes. They’ll believe it.