Good old fashioned beatdown!

There we go! That is exactly what this lineup can do when it is on fire – oh baby, we crushed the Twinkies last night, 14-1. Part of me feels a little bad beating up on this friendly Northern team, but all I can say is “Sorrey! Eh?”

Hm, where to start, where to start…I feel like I’m back in college and trying to decide how to start off one of my public speaking speeches. Side note: I did one of my speeches on “How to play beer pong” because why not? Teaching a professor about ‘island cups’ was definitely an interesting experience, to say the least.

So….where should I jump in? Oh, I’ll start here – GIANCARLOOOO. Here he comes!! The Terminator has arrived!

While so many fans have been booing this monstrosity of a human, I knew he was going to snap out of it soon. Come on, the man is a machine. He’s a cyborg. He crushed 59 home runs last year and won the MVP award – you can’t keep a guy like that down for too long.

Giancarlo “The Terminator” Stanton went 4/4 with a crushing HR and a RBI single thrown into the mix. This is just the beginning, everyone – this man is about to go on a tear. DON’T LET HIM HEAT UP

Oh..Didi and Andujar hit home runs last night? Yawnn. 

I’m not surprised in the slightest

Oh, Didi’s was a grand slam? Ho hum.. LOL I’m kidding. Didi, I feel like I say it every day, but holy shit, you are on fire.

Our shortstop is more locked in at the plate than Stanley Hudson at a crossword puzzle

Or Joey Chestnut at the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. Either applies, really.

Crushing a grand slam in the eighth inning, while already up 8-1, was just a cruel and unusual punishment for the Twins. But I’m all for it! After this ‘slightly’ rocky start to the season (I say slightly because we were going to be fine), beating the shit out of teams is always fun.

In classic Sir Didi fashion, his post-game tweet had no mention of his own accomplishments at the plate.

Always humble, Didi – call him Kendrick Lamar!

I don’t know how you can impress me anymore than you already have, but I am sure you will find a way. Oh, and by the way, as of right now, you are firmly in the lead for “First name of my son”. But shhh, don’t tell Judge!

CALL UP ANDÚJAR!! Miggy, don’t ever cool off! Another homer and another double – I think this rook loves extra-base hits more than life itself! HE CAN DÚ IT. Yes, I am going to say that line until I run it firmly into the ground.

Tyler Austin drove in 4 with a homer and a double, himself. Keep on playing the “bully card” Ty, it works! Gary added a 2 RBI double and Hicksy knocked a run in too!

GLEYBER. After an 0/7 start to his career, he lined a single into the outfield in the 8th inning. He has arrived!

As I said before, I’m on to you, Gleyber! The kid is clearly tapering his success to leave us wanting more and more. And getting that knock in his last at-bat of the game is a clear example of some showmanship! Going out on a true high note.

But in all seriousness, welcome to the big leagues, Gleyber! Now that you got that first hit out of the way, please go on a tear!

Last but not least, it was TANAKA TIME in the Bronx last night. Now, I know some of you may be shocked by this. “Wait, it wasn’t Tuesday?! How was Tanaka so good!” Look at you, Masa, throwing a gem on a Monday. You are full of surprises, my friend. I throughgly enjoyed this Tanaka Monday!

After a goddamn horrible start against the Marlins, Tanaka was locked in from the get-go. I’m still worried about his inconsistency – he’s like an early 2000’s Kim Kardashian. Ray J, Reggie Bush, Kris Humphries – she was all over the place! Never consistent!

Masa, don’t be Kim K! NEVER BE KIM K. Find your Kanye West, in strictly baseball terms folks, and please keep pitching well! We need ya!

And to reference my Major League 2 quote from yesterday’s post, we now have a WINNING STREAK! 3 in a row and let’s keep it going.

CC on the bump tonight and we did not lose last night?! Whoa, that is trippy. I’m sure Big C, himself, is equally shocked.

Let’s keep it going!

Follow me on Twitter @JohnFerraro_